UNBROKEN COMMUNION

Dear God,

The season is saturated with love. The pollens from roses float across the boulevards outside my front yard. A ballad hums in our hearts. But there is only one song in my heart. Only one melody of desire. It tethers me to a riddle. A heart yearning for an answer. How do I love you, Lord? How do I enjoy an unbroken communion in your presence?

In your words, you say if I speak with the tongues of men and of angels and have not love, I am like a clanking cymbal – vain foolery. So daily, I assimilate the divinity of your presence but is my desire enough, Lord? I say I love you. Forever and ever. I say I want to do many things for you. But Lord, the truth of the matter is that I do not know how to show you how much I love you. Works alone won’t suffice. Praying or fasting won’t suffice.

But I want to love you, Lord. More. As vast as the breadth of the sea. My heart yearns for you as the deer panteth after water. It longs as the moth lusts after light. It wants to love you like you. Without reason. Without season. Lord, you loved me not for who I am because even before I was, you loved me. This uncharacteristic love, that is not based on prejudice – that just wants to love – that is how I want to love you.

Also read: YOUR PRESENCE, LORD

Lord, I want to love you in this same vein. To abide in you and you in me. I, your bride. You, the groom. I, your love obsession. You, my love obsession. And so, I consecrate myself daily – committing all of my heart to you.

I am a fragile lover, afraid of commitments but for you, I let my guard down and try to love carelessly. Teach me Lord to love you. To come into a fellowship that is not time-bound but spiritbound. Lord, you are the only relationship I am hungry for. Teach me your love language.

To surrender myself daily to your doctrines. To obey your words without complaint. To trust you without season. To be intimate with you.

I love you, Lord. With all of my heart. With all of my soul. And with all of my might.

Sincerely,
Pelumi.